Failed Mission
by Katherinehgt
Summary: "But he can't, his body is now limp and dumb, out of reach and his mind is slowly shutting down as well, and all he can think about before dark consumes him is how he failed her." AU Reckoning


**Well, hey...Long time no see! This was supposed to be steph's birthday gift which was two months ago and I just finished it...yesterday.**

**Good news is, I finally overcame my block! That means I'll be able to try to update my two other fics.**

**Thank you Pauline for checking my chapter!**

* * *

"I lured you here to watch you die," His voice is cold and hard as steel as he watches the man's face being washed by pure confusion and this is it. This is where he falls, for good. He won't be coming back anymore, he would ensure that. He keeps his eyes hard on Tyson as he speaks loudly to make sure Esposito can hear it and still asks for a confirmation "Are we clear ?"

Jerry Tyson had always been the one with all the cards in hands and the writer can see how clearly the situation unsettles him as he looks more and more confused. "Clear about what?"

"Then, take the shot," The order is clear and makes the man in front of him shift to face the window and Castle quietly observes as they hear the bullet break through the glass before silently landing inside its target.

The still standing man makes no sound whatsoever, even as he comes to realize what just happened. He dumbly takes a look at the wound and he can already feel his body slowly shutting down but it's not over. If he has to fall, he will take the writer with him. He can barely move but he still turns around toward Castle as a fire starts to burn his insides, his hand tightens and shakes around the cold glock as his body sligthly swings and with the little strength he finds he take the shot in his fall.

* * *

Castle has literally no time to react when the bullet explodes out of the gun with a loud bang and crashes through the screen before colliding with his chest making him rock back and drop to the floor.

He grunts loudly as his back sligthly bows making him moan even harder and swears through a weak breath when his eyes open to see the screen now black with a neat hole through it, and even as his body is sinking deeply under he is not insensible at the irony.

He can barely hear or sense when Esposito swears and shouts in his radio for help, or when Ryan helplessly pushes his hands on his wound praying for him to stay awake and open his eyes. But he can't, his body is now limp and dumb, out of reach and his mind is slowly shutting down as well, and all he can think about before dark consumes him is how he failed her.

Up to now, everything is a blur as paramedics invade the scene and raise the writer's unmoving body on a stretcher while shouting his vitals and rushing him to the ambulance waiting outside.

Ryan rubs a hand along his face as he knocks his head against the wall. "Damn it!" He turns around, his back flat against the wall as Esposito comes to face him. "This was not supposed to- We shouldn't have let him," Ryan gets out, his eyes glistening, imploring.

"No. It had to be done. I should have seen it and put a bullet through the son of a bitch's head," He answers, fuming as his nostrils flare. "He's gonna make it, hear me? But right now? We can't do anything for him, but Beckett? We can find her."

Ryan lowers his head and nods "Let's find her, then" he adds, eyes hardening.

* * *

They locate her using Tyson's phone to trace Dr. Nieman's and when they break through the door, Beckett is standing above Kelly Nieman's lifeless body, her bloody hand closed firmly around an equally bloody scalpel, her back to them.

For a minute, nobody dares to move or even breathe. Esposito is the first to approach her as she slightly shifts towards him with wild, shocked eyes.

"Easy, Beckett," He says quietly, as he walks to her both his arms raised before him, careful not to make a wrong move.

She blinks and takes a last look at the lying body at her feet before raising her head back to Esposito.

As people start to finally move around them, Ryan comes to her with a gentle smile, offering her a borrowed NYPD sweatshirt. She seems to consider it before easing herself in it, wrapping her arms around herself once the zip all the way up. Esposito and Ryan gently rest a hand on her back as they lead her outside and they know the question is coming as, once they're in front of the police car, her eyes search for him with a hopeful glint that ripped both their hearts open.

She then shoots a look at each one of them and her forehead slightly wrinkles as she frowns at their desolate looks and closed lips. And suddenly it seems to click as she shakes her head, her legs no longer able to support her and she has to grip Ryan's arm, her fingers clutching him so hard that they quickly turn white. Ryan shares a worried glance with his partner as he holds his superior and friend on her feet, while she silently implores them, her eyes wide and drowning in tears. "Please, _please. _" she croaks, the tears now quietly but furiously rolling down as her head keeps trashing from side to side, she let herself slip to the ground, her back against the car. Her labored breathing makes her gasp for air, and she thinks they're telling her something but their voices seem far in the distance and she hides her face against her raised knees. She needs him to be here, she still can't make the shock fade, she can't do it alone, she _needs_ him.

Ryan lays a hand on her shoulder, making her head rise up to him. "Castle got the idea to lure him. We had him, Beckett, we _had_ him. We got him but we didn't see anything coming, he riposted just before falling."

A hiccup shakes her as she feels more tears falling. Banging her head hard against the car, she screws her eyes shut but opens them as quickly, swallowing. She grips Ryan's hand forcefully, her jaw set hard, "Is he..?" She can barely let it out before feeling her chest being ripped apart, her pulse galloping.

"He's still in surgery. He's fighting," He crouches at her side, looking fiercely in her eyes as she takes long shaky breaths, "You know him, he's always coming back, you could never getridof him."

Kate _almost _smiles but she just shoots a look at Esposito and back at Ryan taking a deep breath, her chest heaving with it, "Bring me to my husband."

* * *

When she walks in, everything is busy, nurses running, rushing and she searches the reception desk almost running toward it once she finds it.

"Hi. I'm Beckett. Detective," She takes a deep breath, trying to ease down her racing heart, her hands firmly grasping the edge, "Kate Castle. I-Uh, my husband, Richard Castle, has been taken in," she finishes swallowing hard

The grey-haired woman barely even glances at her, her eyes glued to the monitor, only moving to catch the lines on the screen. "Richard Castle. Admitted for a gunshot wound around thirty minutes ago, still in surgery." the old woman read to her flatly, in matter-of-fact way , making her cringe.

Nevertheless, she tries to keep herself calm enough to ask for more information. "Did they say something about his condition?" her grip on the counter only tightens, the strength of her madly pounding heart making her nauseous.

"As I just told you, Mr. Castle is still in an on-going surgery, therefore, I don't know more than you do," the woman answers, clearly annoyed and doesn't even bother to hide it as she finally raises her vacant eyes to her. "However, what you can do is wait over there in the waiting room, a surgeon will inform you of any development."

Kate angles her head as she nods releasing a bitter laugh, her jaw set. "Thank you very much," she grumbled as she heads to the waiting room.

It's only when she's sitting in one of those awfully uncomfortable plastic chairs that something she hadn't think about comes to her, rather forcefully than not.

His _mother._

His _daughter._

That seems to be the last drop as all she can do is bring her knees to her chest, making herself as small as she can, her forehead crashing against her legs as a sob breaks free, making her whole frame shake.

An indeterminate time later, it is the clearing of a throat that makes her freeze, her legs falling off the chair as she raises her head to meet a quite pained looking surgeon.

"I'll take it you're the wife ?" he dares to ask with a compassionate tone that makes her nod numbingly as she quickly wipes her eyes and cheeks with her arm, sniffling.

She slowly stands and extends her hand to the dark-haired and green eyed surgeon who warmly shakes it, slightly smiling. "I was the one working on your husband and, even though he was in a critical state for half of the surgery, he fought hard and we were able to stabilize him."

Kate nods, staring at the ground as she fumbles with the sleeve of her hoodie, swallowing hard.

"Where has he been shot?" she manages to ask, biting hard on her lips to keep the tears at bay.

"The bullet landed pretty close to his heart and if you ask me, I'd say it was where the man aimed but thankfully, it went higher, closer to his shoulder. I can assure you he'll make a full physical recovery," he gently informs her as she tries to take it all in.

_Full physical recovery._

"However, the bullet severely broke two ribs, which were our main concern as the fragments of bones could have perforated his lungs or heart. Your husband was pretty lucky, Mrs. Castle."

Kate chokes on a sob, her hand flying to her mouth as she feels her inside churn. She had been so close to losing him. The whole day's events were coming back onto her and she could not bear it alone.

The surgeon laid a calming hand on her shoulder, squeezing. "He's being transferred in his room in ICU as we talk. He is heavily sedated but breathing on his own. He probably won't wake up for some time as his body needs to gain strength back, but you can sit next to him."

Again, she dumbly nods and barely notices when the surgeon calls a nurse to guide her to his room.

All the air leaves her as soon as she steps in, the ground seems to fall under her feet as her knees buckle and she has to quickly grip the arms of the chair next to his bed, her chin falling toward her chest.

The air is too thick, too clean-smelling, her chest is too tight and the beeps of the monitor too loud in her ears. Even though she has her eyes screwed shut, she still can picture him behind her eyes. How small and pale he looks, surrounded by too many tubes for her liking. All of this making him look so lifeless she has to remember he is _alive_.

She takes a deep breath, and eases herself in the chair, which she drags as the close to the bed as she can, only stopping when her legs are trapped against his bed.

She tentatively takes his hand, letting her forehead fall next to their laced hands and no matter how bad she wants to stay alert, darkness quickly overcomes her.

* * *

She wakes to soft strokes against her cheek.

Her eyes slowly open in the dark room, barely aware of where she is and what awoke her but it quickly clicks, and she's now fully aware of the fingers moving against her cheek. _His _fingers.

She abruptly jumps in her chair, both hands flat against the mattress as her eyes land wildly on him, almost disbelieving. "Rick," she hears herself whimper but she can't help it, the tears are already back, rolling down both her cheeks and landing on the sheets.

"I thought I had lost you," he hoarsely says, his own eyes shining with unshed tears as he reaches out to cup her jaw in his hand, his thumb stroking, not without wincing, which Kate doesn't fail to notice.

She gently takes his hand off her face to guide it back to the bed, her hand covering his. She raises her hand, playing with the falling hair above his forehead. "I thought _I_ had lost you."

Twitter: speedofloveSK


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